Changes, like seasons

So, work has been keeping me pretty busy. Busy, not in a good way. There have been so many changes recently, honestly, I'm still reeling from them. Right now I'm in the midst of making one of the hardest choices in my life. Do I stay, or do I go? My husband and I both agree that, eventually, this place is going to kill me. Heart attack is probably the biggest fear right now. Last winter my doctor ordered a heart monitor for me. Between being over weight, and having a very high stress job - those things combined are a very deadly cocktail. Over the course of 5 years, I've had to be put on anti anxiety medication, anti depressants, I've begun drinking more than I normally did before working here, I've gained a ton of weight, I've stopped doing the things I enjoy doing because I'm exhausted **all. the. time.** - Fall used to be my favorite season - now, I dread it. Fall means people in the building industry lose their minds and are cramming in all their projects "right now, Right Now, RIGHT NOW!!!" before the snow flies, which adds to an already stressful job. I stepped down as inside sales manager because of stress. But, the stress just trickled back down into my old position. But... the other side of this is, I live 10 minutes from my job. I make a decent salary, and I like (most) of my co-workers. It's a casual dress environment, and lets face it, I'm not a glamor girl by any means. It's hard to walk away from any job - for any reason - but especially when you're life goals and dreams are on the line. We've been saving my pay check for several months - living only on my husband's salary - to save up for a down payment on a house. That's the dream. The goal was to do this for 1-2 years to have a good chunk of change to put down. If I walk away from this - that won't happen. But if I stay - what good is a house if you're dead - or if not dead, too sick and miserable to enjoy it?
I hate decisions. They make me nervous and uncomfortable.
So, of course - what do I do when I'm uncomfortable? You betcha. I cook. I bake. I go straight to comfort food. Hence... the weight gain.
We're still trying to remain as gluten free as possible. We avoid grains whenever we can, however we can. But, we have pizza from time to time - and we have pasta from time to time. Those nights, it sure does taste great going in - but later in the night... whoa.... buddy.
I think one of the things that has been saving my sanity as of late, is my garden. I get to tinker around outside, and be with nature. I've found that the bees that visit my garden are not bothered by me at all, and I am not bothered by them. Infact, I can get right up close and personal with them and they don't pay me any attention. They LOVE my lavender bush. There are two bees in particular (I think they are the same two bees) that visit every single day. They are bumble bees. One is very small, the other is plump and very fuzzy. I've named them Theo and Chloe.
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This area is my next project... I have two little flowering bushes here, and this area is where my bunnies that have passed on lay to rest. I want to build this out and create an area where flowers grow every year. Once this area is done, I'm hoping we can find someone to rip up all the existing grass, and put in nice thick grass all around the top area of the property. The grass in this area now is so full of weeds, it's not nice to walk on or look at.
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Other than gardening, we've been trying new recipes out. Last night we made greek lamb burgers and oh my, were they delicious. We used the Schlar Gluten Free rolls for the bun.
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The recipe: 1.5 lbs ground organic grass fed lamb 1/2 cup black olives, chopped 1/4 cup cherry tomatoes, chopped 2-3 TBSPN finely chopped red onion 2 tsp dill seasoning 2 tsp parsley handful of fresh mint leaves, chopped 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese (or goat cheese, I prefer goat cheese) Salt & pepper Hand mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl. Form into patties. Lay on a greased baking sheet and bake 350 degrees for 20 minutes. The sauce: 1/2 cup greek yogurt 1 tbsp. lemon zest 1 tbsp. fresh lemon juice 1 tsp dill seasoning 1 tbsp. minced garlic Salt & pepper 1/2 peeled cucumber, seeds removed, and chopped into small pieces. Place all but the cucumber in a magic bullet cup (or small food processor), and process until all ingredients combine. The buns: I used Schlar gluten free buns, that I put in the oven and toasted for a few minutes. Once you assemble your burger, top with the tzatziki sauce, and then crumble more feta (or goat cheese) on top. Voila!

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