The good, bad, and ugly of being fat at the gym

Anyone who has known me from childhood will confirm that: I have always hated the gym. Well, I hated phys-ed. It was the place that nightmares came from from me. Being an adult with full control over my body, and health - going to the gym is now a conscience choice I make for myself - but the little dirty secrets that made the gym suck 25 years ago and still now - remain the same.

It's no surprise when a woman complains about boob sweat. Boob sweat happens, it's just part of the deal. Being fat with enormous water balloons strapped to your chest with a tight fitting sports bra that leaks fat saddle bags out the sides results in boob sweat times infinity. In fact, the boob sweat issue is so bad, that I can't even take my own sports bra off when I get home. It has literally become part of my skin by the end of the night, and my poor husband has to deal with jaws of life style removal after we spend an hour or two at the gym.

Gross. But not as gross as the TMI I about to share. Like I said, this is the good, bad, and ugly of being fat at the gym.

Vagina. Sweat.

Yep. I said it. I went there. The horrifying thing that no woman on the planet wants to address because... well, ew. But it's a reality. It happens. There is nothing attractive or even remotely enticing about sweaty groin areas. Men wonder why most women avoid the gym during their period? It's not just about the cramps. But the lengths that we go to to control groin sweat? My God. Baby powder, soft paper towels, baby wash clothes - anything that will prevent a flood gate of vagina sweat will be used while at the gym when you are fat. This is part of life if you want to avoid painful sweat rashes because your thighs rub together.

Then there is the gas issue. Gyms already smell like, well, a gym... add to that the aroma of whatever type of taco that was recently eaten before going to the gym. Not so pleasant for people in the near proximity. But, as a fellow fat girl - I can confirm - we are a gassy bunch. All people toot. I toot. A lot. Just sayin'. I will, however, hold it in against my better judgement to prevent innocent bystanders from the napalm that is brewing.

Tonight was no different. I was sweating like a pig. My knees were screaming with every squat and every dead lift. I farted every time I did a squat. But that is gym life. I may have cried tonight. A lot. While doing dead lifts. But I got my sweaty hands on that bar and I hoisted that thing like a rag doll. 3 sets of 15.

So, if all these horrifying things happen when you go to the gym while you're fat - it begs to question - is it really that obese people are just "lazy" and don't "want" to change their life like so many people ascertain? Or is it perhaps this reality of what gym life is scares them - because deep down, no one wants to sweat, or smell like a refried bean factory while squatting, or have that looming feeling that people are starring at them for sweating and breathing heavy like they've just run a 5k. So I'm just going to lay it out there.

These things happen. And it's perfectly ok. If you're 100 lbs or 300 lbs. We all have insecurities about what is happening to us physically when we're at the gym. I sweat, I fart, I cry, I breath heavy, and I cuss. A lot. But you know what matters the most while I'm at the gym? The fact that I'm there, and I feel GOOD about myself. I feel GOOD when I leave the gym, despite the sore knees, the abs cramps, the sweaty nether regions. I feel good about me, and what I am accomplishing. So if my horrifying reality stories inspire even one person to go to the gym despite all these "fears" - then it's worth it to lay it out there.

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