When the world tells you to give up, hope whispers to try again

There is nothing that I've ever wanted more in this life than to feel and be accepted for who I am. I just didn't realize that I had to accept me FIRST before anyone else would be able to.

This journey that I've been on with my husband (for what seems like a very long time) has opened me up to so many new experiences that I never thought I'd be able to come to see. We've tried over the years to lose weight, or live a healthier life style - fad diets, even just simply eating clean. And I think that for us - we lost momentum because we were holding onto too much baggage - and not believing in ourselves enough to continue the journey.

I truly believe that fear is what makes people feel incapable of change. Fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of the change itself. We are so encoded to believe that if we try something and fail - that somehow it defines us. That if we change, we'll lose our jobs, lose respect, lose friends, even ourselves. And that's just silly. If changing ourselves for the better equals losing people or respect from people - are they really worth keeping in your life? Negativity begets negativity. Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, and help you believe in yourself - those are the people to keep close.

This is why I am so incredibly lucky to have my husband by my side on this journey. If it wasn't for his support and his love - I wouldn't have the strength to keep pushing forward every day. He inspires me in all he does, because he does everything to keep moving forward towards his goals in life. We sometimes stumble, sometimes we fail - but we always are there to pick each other up again.

We've been keeping a photo log of our progress since starting this in March. I shared my "before and after" last week. This week I'm sharing my husbands. He has made tremendous leaps towards his goal. 44 lbs down. The change in him is remarkable. This first picture is of him in April.



This next picture is one we took this past week. One of the things that has been keeping us motivated is fitting into clothes we haven't been able to wear.



There are nights where we don't want to go to the gym. There are nights when we want to say screw it and go get fast food because we're too tired to cook. There are nights where we just want to play video games and/or sleep. But we fight - we fight for each other, we fight for ourselves. He won't let me fall - I won't let him. Keeping the other healthy is what motivates us to keep pushing. I know he doesn't want to see me kill myself slowly with food, and complacent behavior. I don't want to see him have a heart attack because I'm feeding him unhealthy food, and I don't get out there with him to exercise. But lets face it - for most of the past 10 years that we've been together - I've been a foot in the grave. And I've been taking BJ with me by all the heavy unhealthy food I've been cooking for him.

Tonight we had another expedition to Wegmans. We seem to spend 5 million dollars there every time we shop - but the quality and selection of food is well worth it. We bought a huge 2 lbs bag of lobster tail meat. We bought a plank of salmon. We bought cat fish, and Tilapia. We loaded our cart with healthy fish and meats and we mentally prepared our meals for the week. I love our shopping trips together because we discuss the new inventive things we want to try to make. We experiment with new foods and try to make cooking as interesting as possible.

I love our time together where we plan life and living.

I don't think I've ever felt so content and happy.

Another week at it's end, another weekend to prepare healthy nutritious food, another weekend to beast out at the gym. This is living. This is partnership. I wouldn't have life any other way.

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